So I Met This One Girl
WRITTEN BY CHARLES ODUGBESAN
Okay so let me give you a little story. A few days ago I was in Brent Cross Shopping Centre with a friend of mine and as we were leaving, a brunette girl caught my eye. Brunette was rather attractive so I decided to hold my gaze and gauge a response. See if she stares back for a second or two, you know! Eye contact lasted more than a few seconds so I took it as an invitation to approach her. Long story short I managed to get her number and later that day we got talking. We were in that early back and forth stage, exchanging personal questions, trying to find out who each other was when she then asked about my heritage – British born of Nigerian descent. Everything seemed to be going well up until this point where brunette’s reply to my answer was this..
Needless to say the conversation met a swift end. Brunette’s response left me confused; I didn’t know whether I should feel insulted for being stereotyped, or laugh at how outrageous a thought process this was. Either way I realised this wasn’t going anywhere. It’s a shame because brunette really was rather attractive. Anyway, I realised that in this situation, funny as it may seem, there is an underlying issue here. Brunette met me once and had no knowledge of who I really was or where I was coming from, and yet she was completely dismissive of me due to a factor I have no control of. My descent?! What gives? Who or what could have caused brunette to have such a mindset?
It could be social media.
I could write a whole set of blogs that carefully dissect social media’s affect on people but let me keep it simple here. There’s no general consensus, but it is well documented that amongst the many pros of social media there are cons too. One of the biggest cons I have noticed is that for some reason it stops people from thinking for themselves at times. Someone will see a phrase, or a statement made with hundreds of likes, retweets and reposts which makes a whole number of people simply conform to the thought process of an online entity simply because of their popularity, and genuinely just accept and go along with it. Stereotypes are created because of these ‘people/accounts’ and as a result, social media gives us little opportunity to experience or be wise to things for ourselves; instead we sit, brainwashed, soaking up blind statements through our thumbs. Be concerned if you’re seriously taking life advice from someone’s Instagram or Twitter account guys. Here are a few generic examples of what I mean
It could be friends.
Whilst your friends show love and will fight your corner in any given situation, their advice or opinion about a certain type of person is not paramount. Of course your friends don’t ever want to see you potentially unhappy and they are more than qualified (as your people) to voice their opinion. They may have had a past experience with someone of a similar background that you may be involved with and so they believe they know better. But the bottom line is that no one can make a decision for you other than yourself. No one should ever be discouraged from trying something… or someone! Oh, and even friends get jealous too! Just saying.
Or it could be past experience.
I found this quite funny. The ONE experience (admittedly an awful one by the sounds of it) she had with a guy of Nigerian descent has resulted in her dismissing the entire population that resides in London pretty much. Apparently if you have dated 1 you’ve dated over 100,000. Makes sense! But I’m in danger of being too specific here so let me broaden the spec. How many times has a guy or a girl dated or been in a relationship with a handful of people that are all similar in some sense (be it background, age or ethnicity), been mistreated by them all to an extent, and then gone on to declare that all men/women of that ‘type’ are off limits for them? It happens often right? It’s understandable that past experiences leave a bad taste in the mouth, but a failed relationship takes two. Perhaps these people are guilty of repeatedly making the same mistake and as a consequence, have a bleak outlook on their love life when it comes to a certain group of people. I think we’re all guilty of being quick to blame someone else for a bad experience way before looking inwardly and thinking ‘what mistake(s) did I make?’ Old habits die hard as the saying goes.
See, I’m not mad at brunette for dismissing me. But also I’m a terrible liar. And if she just so happens to see this blog floating about on the internet somewhere and decides gives it a read, then let me take the opportunity now to say directly to her, and to anyone that does this… you missed out brunette. You shouldn’t knock it till you try it!